Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
