At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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