Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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