well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
