At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
