Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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