Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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