i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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