somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
