i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize