Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
