I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
