The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
