woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize