The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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