i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
