I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
