when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
