I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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