i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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