Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
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Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
