Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
