i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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