i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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