i don't like sucking hair
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
