I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
