If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize