I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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