I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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