I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
