yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
