First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
