I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
