It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
