Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize