Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
