wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
