they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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