Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
