My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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