One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
