Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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