I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
