Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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