Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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