This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
