Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
