My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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