Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
