would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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