i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
