Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
