he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
people are starting to question the shark bite story
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
