You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I need a burrito and a hug.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
