you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize