dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
