We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
