So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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