i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
