Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
