what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
