yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
