She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
