My hand turned me down
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
