I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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