Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I enjoy the company of your penis
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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