i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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