He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
