It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
