Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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